Not being able to cope with anger puts a teenager at risk and can prove to be harmful to others around him too.

When 15-year-old Sunita’s romantic relationship with her boyfriend ended, it left her feeling depressed. Her self- confidence and self-esteem suffered a big blow. She felt she would never be able to trust anyone again.

Parents and caregivers often dismiss teen romantic relationships as puppy love. Since many of these are short-lived, adults feel that they are of no consequence. Recent research however says that though these relationships are temporary, they are stormy and intense and can have a lasting effect on the self-esteem of the teen and their future relationships.

Teen crush

Developmental tasks of teens are affected by their romantic relationships. This is the time when youngsters start creating their identity, and relationships – romantic or not – are closely related to self-worth. Here are some other ways relationships play a crucial role in shaping up an adolescent into an adult.

• Transformation of family relationships gives rise to conflicts like the choice of peers, risks associated with dating and sexual behavior and it in turn affects academics.
• Development of close relationships with peers starts in this period.
• Romantic relationships help in the development of healthy sexuality. They help adolescents understand personal roles, gain knowledge of reproductive processes, developing a healthy body image, getting adjusted to sexual feelings, and integrating them into their social lives. The development of sexual orientation is another critical aspect of romantic attachments.

Romantic relationships can have both positive and negative effects on adolescent’s scholastic achievement depending on the nature of attachment and the age at which it occurs. If the partner is supportive and encouraging, the teen will do well and make the right career choices. But, if the relationship and sexual involvement happens very early in adolescence, it has a detrimental effect on school performance. Early parenthood is directly linked to poor educational achievement.

Tips for teens

Understand what a relationship is about. Every relationship starts with attraction and excitement and maybe followed by a sense of closeness. But, if it has to sustain, it should involve sharing likes and dislikes, worries and fears as well as achievements, caring, support, learning to give and take.

When a relationship comes to an end, it can be devastating and leave an adolescent heartbroken. Talk to a person who does not brush your feeling aside, and instead helps you to cope with those hurtful moments.

Consider romantic relationships as learning opportunities. Relationships forged in teens can prove to be a stepping-stone for future committed ones. An adolescent learns to respect, love and care for his/her partner and this will help in a stable adult partnership.

It also helps the teen to discover his/her own likes and dislikes and the values and qualities one expects in a partner. The most important thing to keep in mind is to consciously avoid relationships that are physically and emotionally abusive.

Love and romance is an integral part of growing up. It can be a wonderful experience and can teach us a few lessons on self-respect. Parents and educators who are the primary caregivers should learn and understand healthy teen sexuality and guide them better. This will help us to navigate through those anxiety-provoking years, with ease.